How are you doing without me? Well, I hope that you are just fine. Do you remember how you told me that I can find peace, love and happiness with you or in you? Thanks for your kind words; they are in my mind all the time. If you would find me a year earlier, when I was still free and carefree, you would be able to catch me and make me happy.
But now I am afraid like a hell to be hurt again and to hurt someone. But those few weeks spent chatting; walking, sharing intimate moments helped me a lot. I am feeling that something is missing. I know that it is possible to get use to some people or places, but I got used to you so fast. To my own amaze, you responded the way I did not expect.
The more time goes by, the more I think about your words and there is a wish to try what would happen if we become more then friends. Slowly, step by step I can be caught again in cage of love, where I sit and smile from happiness. But it is a long shot that everything will be smooth. You noticed that I am wild and not educated in relationships, egoistic and not attentive sometimes. But you were teaching me once; maybe this time you will make your job well:)
Argh, i do not know what to do. Tell me something.
Sunday, 6 June 2010
Friday, 28 May 2010
Final Feliz
Have I ever told you the story about my dearest dream? I guess not. Do you remember me bragging about small wine bar in half basement and half 1st floor? Agh, now you remember. Don’t you even dare to laugh about it? Yes, yes, i am talking to you.
Alright, let me start from the beginning again. First impression would be door and hanging above it with old rusty letters: “Final Feliz“. I dare to say that my bar will be happy ending every day. Does not matter the weather, loss or winnings of favorite basketball/football team. When you enter the bar, the first look is captured by the wall full of photos and notes. Photos and notes would be from everywhere and everyone. Furthest world corners, silliest letters and phrases. All of them would find it is own place on the wall. To the left of the door going to be coat hanger and small elephant leg imitation for umbrellas (it rains often here). To the right there will be small stairs and arrow to the gnomes and ladies room (I know it sounds too British, but let me go on).
Just in front of the door, around 15 meters further you can see old wooden bar and high fresh grass green color chairs. Behind the bar there will be shelves full of the best drinks and one shelve dedicated to happy memories from this bar: smiles, parties, broken glasses and smiles again. Behind the bar often you could see me, smiling and working. There will be a huge fireplace to the right of the bar and shelves with the books, English, Portuguese, Lithuanian, Spanish and many other languages. There will be a huge green sofa to the left of the bar, against the wall and piano on the corner for live music if someone knows how to play it. And all this small cozy area gonna be filled with small tables, comfortable chairs and puffs. Small candles would be put on every table.
I want it to be a place for friends and guests. I want to feel like at home. I want it to be special for everyone. I want it to be real and tangible, to hear people laughing and speaking, to listen to soft and cozy blues in the afternoon, good Latino energy driven songs in the evening. I want that people would celebrate their birthdays, bachelor parties here. I want people to sing victory songs here and mourn after losing. I want a dog in the corner chewing a chair leg. I want to witness the change of generations, first loves, break ups. I want it all, I want it bad.
Just outside the bar, on the same side walk I would put sign to make turn on a corner and for everyone’s surprise they would see tent with Christmas lights and small band, playing groove music bringing the feeling of New Orleans. I imagine a huge oak just in the corner, giving enough space for shadow and cover from the rain.
Oh, if ever I will have it on my own. It would be my own happy ending, my own happily ever after.
Alright, let me start from the beginning again. First impression would be door and hanging above it with old rusty letters: “Final Feliz“. I dare to say that my bar will be happy ending every day. Does not matter the weather, loss or winnings of favorite basketball/football team. When you enter the bar, the first look is captured by the wall full of photos and notes. Photos and notes would be from everywhere and everyone. Furthest world corners, silliest letters and phrases. All of them would find it is own place on the wall. To the left of the door going to be coat hanger and small elephant leg imitation for umbrellas (it rains often here). To the right there will be small stairs and arrow to the gnomes and ladies room (I know it sounds too British, but let me go on).
Just in front of the door, around 15 meters further you can see old wooden bar and high fresh grass green color chairs. Behind the bar there will be shelves full of the best drinks and one shelve dedicated to happy memories from this bar: smiles, parties, broken glasses and smiles again. Behind the bar often you could see me, smiling and working. There will be a huge fireplace to the right of the bar and shelves with the books, English, Portuguese, Lithuanian, Spanish and many other languages. There will be a huge green sofa to the left of the bar, against the wall and piano on the corner for live music if someone knows how to play it. And all this small cozy area gonna be filled with small tables, comfortable chairs and puffs. Small candles would be put on every table.
I want it to be a place for friends and guests. I want to feel like at home. I want it to be special for everyone. I want it to be real and tangible, to hear people laughing and speaking, to listen to soft and cozy blues in the afternoon, good Latino energy driven songs in the evening. I want that people would celebrate their birthdays, bachelor parties here. I want people to sing victory songs here and mourn after losing. I want a dog in the corner chewing a chair leg. I want to witness the change of generations, first loves, break ups. I want it all, I want it bad.
Just outside the bar, on the same side walk I would put sign to make turn on a corner and for everyone’s surprise they would see tent with Christmas lights and small band, playing groove music bringing the feeling of New Orleans. I imagine a huge oak just in the corner, giving enough space for shadow and cover from the rain.
Oh, if ever I will have it on my own. It would be my own happy ending, my own happily ever after.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
A bit of me
Tavo vandenys
tyvuliuoja mano įsčiose.
Tavo žuvys
saugo mano vaisingumą.
Mėlynakis upės sraunumas.
tyvuliuoja mano įsčiose.
Tavo žuvys
saugo mano vaisingumą.
Mėlynakis upės sraunumas.
Saudades
A feeling of joy descends slowly
Finding its resting place within me
The images of the past now an inspiration
Listening to the memories
fills me with tendernes
I have survived, I am here, I am alive
Connected always to my past with love and saudade
For those who went before, so
I open my heart like a shrine
Unblemished by bitterness or hate
Filled with love for them
Centuries of tender care could not deny
Born into a perfect harmony
As humane and mature, I now face the future
With the wholeness of spirit that is victorius
We once more can share
The essence and purity of life as
Jews from Sepharad.
Found in internet, author unknown.
Finding its resting place within me
The images of the past now an inspiration
Listening to the memories
fills me with tendernes
I have survived, I am here, I am alive
Connected always to my past with love and saudade
For those who went before, so
I open my heart like a shrine
Unblemished by bitterness or hate
Filled with love for them
Centuries of tender care could not deny
Born into a perfect harmony
As humane and mature, I now face the future
With the wholeness of spirit that is victorius
We once more can share
The essence and purity of life as
Jews from Sepharad.
Found in internet, author unknown.
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